How Good or Bad was Your Wedding Speech ?
Getting prepared and ultimately presenting a wedding speech is quite an experience. You like it or you don’t like it, if you agree to be a best man or maid of honor you know you have to deliver a wedding speech at the wedding ceremony. The groom, the father of the bride and sometimes the bride don’t even have that luxury. A groom is a groom by default and so are the other two. They have to give their respective wedding speeches. No escaping from that.
But, not necessarily, things should be as bad as you expect it to be if you are afraid of public speaking. After all it’s a great honor to be selected as a best man or maid of honor. And if you follow a few simple guidelines you too can deliver a wedding speech that would be remembered for long. That’s for those who are not that comfortable while speaking in front of a crowed. But many of you out there are really good speakers and can handle the job with confidence. But in spite of being a good speaker, you should plan your speech before hand and actually put your thoughts on paper. You can thus make your wedding speech even better than your expectations.
This Wedding Speech Blog is a place where we would share tips, ideas and experiences related to wedding speeches. Be it a best man speech, a groom speech, father of the bride speech or maid of honor speech, if you have to say, you are welcome to post your thoughts here. so, go ahead and share with us your wedding speech experience.
The Philosophy of Wedding Speeches and Toasts
There are a lot of different philosophies on how to write wedding speeches: some say that the most important thing is to be funny, others say that the most important thing is to say something moving, and the true radicals suggest honesty. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and given several maid of honor speeches and listened to as many best man speeches, father of the bride speeches and groom speeches – and the truth of the matter is that there’s no one true strategy that will make for a good speech. If you’re faced with the seemingly Herculean task of giving a wedding speech, however, there are a few tips and tricks that can make the task manageable and help you to bring the house down.
Wedding toasts have a lot in common with other kinds of speeches, and so it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with common tips and tricks for public speaking generally. Writing your whole speech down on cue cards is often a bad idea, but writing down a few notes to help you remember the major points if you get lost can be a lifesaver. It’s also a good idea to write down, in giant capital letters if necessary, reminders to yourself: words like ‘breathe’! or ‘pause sometimes’!, staring up at you from your notes, can break through the hard shell of panic that often surrounds us when we’re asked to get up and give a speech. If you can, it’s also a good idea to check out the wedding destination beforehand, to get a sense of the space you’ll be giving the speech in. If you’re comfortable with the mike and the podium and you know how loudly you need to speak, you’ll be better off.
But tips for public speaking generally can be found anywhere; what about specific strategies for writing wedding toasts? In their way, wedding speeches can be the most terrifying kind of public speaking of all: the audience is likely to be packed with close friends and family; you’re expected to be funny; you’re expected to be concise; you’re expected to say something heartfelt. The best wedding speeches combine those three elements, true; but, on the other hand, the worst ones are the ones that are trying to be funny or touching, but failing. Tossing in jokes just for the heck of it, or bringing up the amazing and overwhelming (but non-specific) love that the couple have for each other without telling any stories to give that pronouncement a context, will make your speech into a bland and forgettable piece of filler.
The key is to make your speech organic, to bring up the funny elements and the touching elements naturally. The easiest way to do this, the most consistently successful element of any wedding toast, is the well-chosen anecdote. Don’t begin by telling the guests that we’re here to celebrate the union of Alex and Pat; very likely the guests already know that. Don’t begin by waxing philosophical about love; you’re bound to alienate some people and bore others, while failing to say anything specific about Alex or Pat. Stand up and begin your speech with a story: in addition to being immediately interesting, the beginning of a narrative will catch peoples’ attention and hold it like nothing else.
Finding the ideal anecdote can be tricky, but the key is to find something that says something specific about the person you’re standing up for (whether it be Alex or Pat), that lays out a core element of their personality, while also being amusing and narratively interesting. If you can find that perfect anecdote, begin with it: you may find that telling a story also helps to calm your nerves as a public speaker. The middle of your speech might be anything: if the first anecdote was something about Alex specifically, then you might talk about Alex and Pat as a couple; if the first anecdote was about Alex and Pat’s first meeting, then you might continue by going back in time to say what Alex was like as a child. Or you might say something more simple about the ceremony or the wedding reception that you’ve all gathered together to enjoy. The best wedding speeches include several different elements that all work together towards the same theme, but if you can’t manage that, there’s still room to make yours a great speech. When you come to the conclusion of your speech, find a way to go back and tie your speech back into the first anecdote that you told; this will give the audience a sense of finality and a sense of satisfaction, seeing the first element of your speech echoed back at the end.
At the end of your speech (if you aren’t the bride or the groom of course) wish the newlyweds all the happiness and prosperity in years to come – raise your glass and invite everybody present at the reception to join you when you are toasting the happy couple. Just like the wedding speech keep your toast simple but make sure it’s sincere and heartfelt. There’s hardly a better way to conclude your speech.
Depending on your relationship with the bride or the groom you might have to give a father of the bride speech, a best man speech or a maid of honor speech. And these tips should be able to help you irrespective of the relationship you share with the bride or the groom.
The last tip, of course, is to speak to what you know, and to speak from the heart: if you do that, and stick to that, you’re much more likely to say something moving, inspiring, beautiful, or charming.
The Order of Wedding Speeches
I will try to keep this post short and to the point. People often wonder what the right order of wedding speeches is. And sometimes they even if any such order actually exist. Well, there is indeed a tradition of wedding speech that is followed by majority of the families living in a particular country or region. Such traditions or customs have been developed wedding ceremonial rituals practiced by the people through the ages. And as I said it depends from region to region rather than family to family. Two families living in Florida would probably follow similar wedding customs (unless they or their ancestors are from different countries) but it would be different from an Irish family living in Ireland.
Nevertheless, let us adhere to the most common tradition which is practiced by most of the families. If we assume that there are four people (the groom, the father of the bride the best man and the maid of honor) who are going to deliver their respective wedding speeches, the most orthodox wedding speech order could be something like the following.
- The father of the bride gives his father of the bride speech. He is the one to speak first.
- The groom then delivers his groom speech which is formal in nature.
- The best man speech is probably the most entertaining of them all and is delivered the best man.
- The maid of honor speech is the last in the serious and is quite similar to best man speeches in nature.
However, apart from the above mention speeches there could be a few more people who may like to speak or are expected to speak in absence of one or more persons mentioned. They could be the father or mother of the groom, mother of the bride or even the bride. Sometimes somebody from the family or friends could also offer to deliver their speech. You must discuss well in advance how to accommodate them and make the final order of wedding speech accordingly.
Ideas for Perfect Wedding Speeches
Wedding speeches are part of almost all Christian weddings since as early as we can imagine. Weddings are not only about union of two souls but they are also about celebrating together with friends and families. In a wedding the father of the bride, the best man, the maid of honor speak about the newly wed couple and the relationship they share with them. And the groom (sometimes the bride too) in return thank them as well as all the guests for their good wishes and blessings. On the wedding day the focus is obviously on the bride and the groom. This is a very special day for both of them and the wedding speeches make them feel even more special. You don’t get the attraction of so many people everyday, do you?
We get to hear wedding speeches that are truly entertaining and we also come across wedding speeches that are rather unexciting. Public speaking is a special ability and only a few of us are blessed with the power of addressing several people flawlessly. But that doesn’t mean that the less privileged ones can’t give outstanding speeches. They can absolutely come up with extra-ordinary wedding speeches if they want to do it. You need to have the right attitude. A positive frame of mind could take you a long way.
With a little effort and time from your part you too can make your wedding speech stand out. Let’s see wedding speeches from a different perspective. A wedding speech is nothing but welcoming the guests, praising the bride and the groom and wishing them a happy married life. Now, you would of course like to sound your wedding speech better. But before hat you should decide on the mood of your speech. If you are the groom getting ready for the groom speech you should go for a formal speech. You can always make it sound great with your sense of humor. On the other hand if you are the bride’s father you would definitely want your speech to be formal as well as heartfelt. But here also you can make your father of the bride speech interesting by adding some humor to it. In fact, you should try to include some humor to whatever wedding speech you have to deliver. Humors don’t fail when used wisely.
Best man speeches are often known as the most interesting wedding speech you get to hear at any wedding reception. Best men are crazy about delivering a funny wedding speech and often end up with an embarrassing one. Fun or comedy is not everybody’s cup of tea. As a best man you would want your speech to be smart and witty. Irrelevant funny comments are not going to make your speech funny. Wisely selected punch-lines will. Prepare for your best man speeches well in advance if you want to impress with it. And it’s almost true about maid of honor speeches too. As the maid of honor you would like to share some of the sweet moments you had with the bride in your childhood or college years. Be natural, you don’t have to create words to describe your relationship with your friend or sister, do you? Just speak your heart out and it will make a great maid of the honor speech.
The Fundamentals of Wedding Speeches
The four of the most common wedding speeches that are common to almost all weddings are the father of the bride speech, the groom’s speech, the maid of honor speech and the best man’s speech. Though you don’t always get to hear to all of those four wedding speeches at every wedding reception party you attend.
Firstly, the toastmaster, if there is any, should urge the father of the bride to propose a toast wishing health and happiness to the newlyweds. If you are the father of the bride you should attempt to make your father of the bride speech sincere and if you get a bit sentimental during your speech don’t worry about it …. It’s quite natural with father of the bride speeches. But, you know, like all other wedding speeches, you could do a lot of good to your speech if you can add a bit of humor to it. As the father of the bride you will also have to welcome the groom’s parents, all the friends and family members and the guests present at the reception.
The groom speech is next where the groom usually replies with a speech where he thanks his own parents for what they have done all these years to make him what he is. He will also thank the parents of the bride to accept him as one of their family members. Groom speeches should also portrait the love and responsibility of the groom towards his bride. It is also customary that the groom also says a few words of thanks to the gift-bearers, the bridesmaids and the best man.
Traditionally, the groom speech is followed by the best man speech. The best man generally gives a light-hearted, humorous speech. Best Man Speeches are often centered on the groom. The best best man speeches have jokes, quotes, one-liners as well as anecdotes included in them and all of them together, if delivered in a lively manner, make it absolutely entertaining.
Finally, maid of honor speeches or the wedding toasts from the bridesmaids are actually quite similar to the best man speech. The only difference being the majority of the speech is dedicated to the bride instead of the groom. The maid of honors are normally the bride’s sisters or friends and being somebody close to the bride’s heart, their version of wedding speeches would mean some funny insider secrets about the bride.
Apparently, delivering a speech at a wedding reception would necessarily mean that you should get prepared for it well in advance. Here are some essential tips that anybody having to give a wedding speech can follow -
- Begin early. You should start your preparation at least 2 weeks prior to the wedding day
- Do some research work by browsing through various wedding speech resources on the internet.
- Note down the points you like noteworthy.
- Make an outline of the speech.
- Bear in mind that your speech shouldn’t be longer than 5 minutes.
- Depending on the nature of your wedding speech remember to include everybody you need to thank.
- Sort the wedding jokes, quotes one-liners you intend to include in your speech
- Anecdotes make wedding speeches interesting. Remember those you would like to use.
- Avoid silly remarks, bad jokes. And alcohol before the speech. Aunt Lily is not going to like them.
- Be honest and sincere. Better be the person you are.
- Practice. Practice builds familiarity. And familiarity gives rise to confidence.
Well, that’s it for today as far as getting ready for your wedding speech is concerned. If you think it’s not easy let me tell you that you have done a lot harder jobs than giving a wedding speech. Write up your speech practice and get used to it’s done. And if you think you require it, you can get some excellent wedding speech materials and guidance by following one of the links below -
