How Good or Bad was Your Wedding Speech ?
Getting prepared and ultimately presenting a wedding speech is quite an experience. You like it or you don’t like it, if you agree to be a best man or maid of honor you know you have to deliver a wedding speech at the wedding ceremony. The groom, the father of the bride and sometimes the bride don’t even have that luxury. A groom is a groom by default and so are the other two. They have to give their respective wedding speeches. No escaping from that.
But, not necessarily, things should be as bad as you expect it to be if you are afraid of public speaking. After all it’s a great honor to be selected as a best man or maid of honor. And if you follow a few simple guidelines you too can deliver a wedding speech that would be remembered for long. That’s for those who are not that comfortable while speaking in front of a crowed. But many of you out there are really good speakers and can handle the job with confidence. But in spite of being a good speaker, you should plan your speech before hand and actually put your thoughts on paper. You can thus make your wedding speech even better than your expectations.
This Wedding Speech Blog is a place where we would share tips, ideas and experiences related to wedding speeches. Be it a best man speech, a groom speech, father of the bride speech or maid of honor speech, if you have to say, you are welcome to post your thoughts here. so, go ahead and share with us your wedding speech experience.
Overcoming The Five Biggest Wedding Speech Obstacles
Authoring and more significantly, delivering a wedding speech is not an easy task. Despite one’s personal love and affection for the bride or groom, there are many obstacles that can stand in the way of a polished, memorable wedding speech. To begin, one can fail to set aside an adequate amount of time for planning and preparation. Also, one can select inappropriate material for a wedding speech, such as overly personal anecdotes. Third, the simple, yet pervasive fear of public speaking can make for both poor preparation and performance. In addition, an individual may fail to practice the delivery of the wedding speech beforehand, which is an integral part of an effective preparation. Finally, one may consume too much food and alcohol during the reception prior to the wedding speech, making for a sloppy and grossly uninhibited toast.
First, you must be careful to set aside enough time to plan and prepare for the wedding toast. Delivering an effective speech is a difficult thing, especially for those unpracticed in and unfamiliar with the art and routing of speech making. Therefore, to afford an appropriate amount of respect to the difficulties of speech making, you must plan and prepare thoroughly. You can begin by copying down notes – simple notes on what you would like to include in a wedding speech for the bride and groom. For example, one may wish to recount a particular vacation taken with the bride or the groom. Next, one should select an appropriate theme for the wedding speech, such as “love”, “friendship”, “commitment”, or “relationships”, and eliminate any notes that do not pertain to the theme. Finally, the remaining notes should be organized into an outline. This outline should consist of an introduction, body, and conclusion, all of which should flow together in a logical fashion.
Second, in jotting down notes and constructing an outline for the wedding speech, one should be sure to select appropriate material for a wedding speech. It is advisable to steer clear of several controversial topics including overly personal anecdotes, bathroom humor and vulgar jokes, pointed criticism of any member of the attending families, and a recount of any previous marriages of the bride or groom. While the introduction of the wedding speech is a good place for a humorous anecdote, it is important to keep these stories appropriate for all members of the audience. And, while previous marriages may be construed as “life lessons” or “character building” experiences, these discussions should be left for another time.
A third thing to contemplate while delivering a wedding speech is the pervasive and wide spread fear of public speaking – a fear from which so many people suffer. Public speaking is a terrifying, almost paralyzing prospect for many people. What’s more, in the case of a wedding speech, a fear of public speaking harms not only the individual delivering the speech, but also the bride and groom. Poorly delivered wedding speeches can make an awkward and uncomfortable moment at the height of the wedding reception. That being said, it is important to take enough time to plan and prepare for the wedding speeches, so that the “public speaking jitters” don’t ruin the moment.
Following that train of thought, it is crucially important that the individual responsible for the wedding speech practice the delivery of the speech beforehand. This practice involves not only taking notes and constructing outline, but also a serious and deliberate walk through of the speech itself – where to stand, which words to use, how fast to speak, what to do with one’s hands, etc. There are a great many things that go into the few minutes that may comprise a successful (or an unsuccessful) wedding speech. If one neglects these details, opting to save any delivery of the wedding speech for the moment of the speech itself, a host of things may go wrong: the speaker may talk to quickly, the speaker may gesture too wildly with his or her hands, or the speaker may fumble over his or her words. So, just as much as it is important to plan and prepare, it is also important to practice and rehearse your speech until you are absolutely confident that it’s no longer going to create a problem at the reception.
Finally, it is important to moderate the consumption of food and alcohol prior to the delivery of wedding speeches or wedding toasts. Although the ample buffets and open bars of most wedding receptions can be tempting, an upset stomach or a cloudy mind are two of the easiest, yet most drastic ways in which one may ruin a wedding speech. All the planning, preparation, and practice previously discussed could be for naught if the speaker temporarily or permanently incapacitated during the time for the wedding speech. The good news, however, is that this is easily avoided by eating and drinking in moderation up until the delivery of the speech.
To summarize, there are five prime challenges you need to address in order to pull off reasonably good wedding speeches every time you need to give one. And those are preparation, appropriateness, anxiety, practice, and wedding day moderation. Fortunately, all of these challenges are capable of being overcome. All that is required is adequate time, meaningful effort, and a respectful approach to the task of delivering the best wedding speech possible.
Wedding Speeches That Will Make You Proud
Writing the perfect wedding speech for your friend or family member does not need to be a nerve-wracking experience. Following a few simple steps to plan, write and give your speech will make your friend or family member’s wedding a day to remember fondly for years to come.
When you begin to plan your speech it is important to be organized and take notes during the process. Keep in mind how long you will have to give the speech. At some weddings the speech time is fluid and flexible with no guidelines, but some weddings are on a fairly tight schedule and you need to fit into the time constraints properly. To find out how much to write ahead of time try reading a page out of a book at a comfortable to slow pace and time yourself. That should show you about how much you can fit into a desired time-table. When you are brain-storming ideas try to remember touching stories, or funny ones, but be sure not to include any details that might embarrass someone at the wedding. No one really likes embarrassing speeches on his or her special day.
Writing down the wedding speeches is important because it will help you avoid forgetting details, keep you in your allotted time and decrease anxiety while speaking in front of people. Think about how to organize your speech. Any speech should have a clear beginning, middle and conclusion, and you should know where these pieces begin and end. You want everyone to know when your speech is over so they can applaud and the next speaker can pick up without a generic “that’s all I have, thanks” type of conclusion. So try out your last sentence a couple of times to make sure it is clearly the summation of your speech.
After you write out the speech verbatim make up some note-cards with bullet points to glance at during the speech. You want your speech to sound as natural as possible and if you are just reading a pre-written speech it will sound forced and rehearsed, not the effect you want for a touching story or humorous anecdote. Organize and number your note cards and practice giving your speech from them several times to make sure you have included any pertinent information.
Finally you have arrived at the wedding. The vows have been made, everyone is happy, and your turn to toast the happy couple has come. This is the spot where a lot of people have trouble. Looking out at a sea of faces expectantly waiting for your perfect speech is intimidating. Be careful not to psych yourself out and take a deep breath. Starting with an easy phrase to break the ice is always a good plan. Something like, “This is such a great day, let’s all give John and Susan a round of applause” can make you feel like you and the other guests are in this together, and it focuses the speech on the couple – where it belongs. Glance at your note cards, but avoid staring at them. Make eye-contact with anyone in the room that makes you feel comfortable at first, and then shift eye-contact from person to person. This makes you able to focus on individuals and makes the audience feel included and special.
Finally, always end your wedding toast by drawing the attention back to the newlyweds. It is their day, after all, and your wedding speech was designed to make them feel special. Follow these simple steps, and let your happiness for your newly married friends to shine through, and you will have the perfect wedding speech.
Should you find this article helpful and actually benefited from it please let me know your wedding speech experience. For more help you might want to check this site for wedding speech samples and guidance.
The Philosophy of Wedding Speeches and Toasts
There are a lot of different philosophies on how to write wedding speeches: some say that the most important thing is to be funny, others say that the most important thing is to say something moving, and the true radicals suggest honesty. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and given several maid of honor speeches and listened to as many best man speeches, father of the bride speeches and groom speeches – and the truth of the matter is that there’s no one true strategy that will make for a good speech. If you’re faced with the seemingly Herculean task of giving a wedding speech, however, there are a few tips and tricks that can make the task manageable and help you to bring the house down.
Wedding toasts have a lot in common with other kinds of speeches, and so it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with common tips and tricks for public speaking generally. Writing your whole speech down on cue cards is often a bad idea, but writing down a few notes to help you remember the major points if you get lost can be a lifesaver. It’s also a good idea to write down, in giant capital letters if necessary, reminders to yourself: words like ‘breathe’! or ‘pause sometimes’!, staring up at you from your notes, can break through the hard shell of panic that often surrounds us when we’re asked to get up and give a speech. If you can, it’s also a good idea to check out the wedding destination beforehand, to get a sense of the space you’ll be giving the speech in. If you’re comfortable with the mike and the podium and you know how loudly you need to speak, you’ll be better off.
But tips for public speaking generally can be found anywhere; what about specific strategies for writing wedding toasts? In their way, wedding speeches can be the most terrifying kind of public speaking of all: the audience is likely to be packed with close friends and family; you’re expected to be funny; you’re expected to be concise; you’re expected to say something heartfelt. The best wedding speeches combine those three elements, true; but, on the other hand, the worst ones are the ones that are trying to be funny or touching, but failing. Tossing in jokes just for the heck of it, or bringing up the amazing and overwhelming (but non-specific) love that the couple have for each other without telling any stories to give that pronouncement a context, will make your speech into a bland and forgettable piece of filler.
The key is to make your speech organic, to bring up the funny elements and the touching elements naturally. The easiest way to do this, the most consistently successful element of any wedding toast, is the well-chosen anecdote. Don’t begin by telling the guests that we’re here to celebrate the union of Alex and Pat; very likely the guests already know that. Don’t begin by waxing philosophical about love; you’re bound to alienate some people and bore others, while failing to say anything specific about Alex or Pat. Stand up and begin your speech with a story: in addition to being immediately interesting, the beginning of a narrative will catch peoples’ attention and hold it like nothing else.
Finding the ideal anecdote can be tricky, but the key is to find something that says something specific about the person you’re standing up for (whether it be Alex or Pat), that lays out a core element of their personality, while also being amusing and narratively interesting. If you can find that perfect anecdote, begin with it: you may find that telling a story also helps to calm your nerves as a public speaker. The middle of your speech might be anything: if the first anecdote was something about Alex specifically, then you might talk about Alex and Pat as a couple; if the first anecdote was about Alex and Pat’s first meeting, then you might continue by going back in time to say what Alex was like as a child. Or you might say something more simple about the ceremony or the wedding reception that you’ve all gathered together to enjoy. The best wedding speeches include several different elements that all work together towards the same theme, but if you can’t manage that, there’s still room to make yours a great speech. When you come to the conclusion of your speech, find a way to go back and tie your speech back into the first anecdote that you told; this will give the audience a sense of finality and a sense of satisfaction, seeing the first element of your speech echoed back at the end.
At the end of your speech (if you aren’t the bride or the groom of course) wish the newlyweds all the happiness and prosperity in years to come – raise your glass and invite everybody present at the reception to join you when you are toasting the happy couple. Just like the wedding speech keep your toast simple but make sure it’s sincere and heartfelt. There’s hardly a better way to conclude your speech.
Depending on your relationship with the bride or the groom you might have to give a father of the bride speech, a best man speech or a maid of honor speech. And these tips should be able to help you irrespective of the relationship you share with the bride or the groom.
The last tip, of course, is to speak to what you know, and to speak from the heart: if you do that, and stick to that, you’re much more likely to say something moving, inspiring, beautiful, or charming.
Dearly Beloved We Are Gathered Here Today To Celebrate …
Dearly Beloved We Are Gathered Here Today To Celebrate …. Do these words strike terror in your heart? You know when the ceremony is over you’re going to be giving your wedding speech, right? Standing up in front of all those people and sharing your feeling about your best friend? It would frighten toughest of men…but you can beat those terrors by focusing on the other great aspects of the wedding.
You know, there’s more to weddings than the wedding speeches. If you’re the best man, you get to kiss the bride and maid of honor. That’s a plus, sometimes…as the best man you get to play the hero when the cater leaves town with the deposit money and grab your trusty sword…err…I mean, your phone and call for 30 pizza for instant delivery, while doing your best to entertain the guests until they arrive.
There’s the dancing after the reception and wedding speeches with that fair lady you’ve had your eye on since you meet her at the rehearsal dinner. And of course, all the duty dances with grandma and aunties that like to tell you “how you’ve grown”. Don’t forget that!
Then there’s the “keeping an eye” on your best friend (the groom) until the bride takes over after all the wedding speeches. This is the time you can finally sit back, relax, and just enjoy the rest of the night without any more duties. And no wedding speech to worry about either. Finally, it’s over, your best friend is married, and you wish him (or the bride) the best of luck with him.
You’ve done your part; you came through the wedding, the wedding speeches and the reception without a scratch. Now, as long as you don’t catch the wedding bouquet when the bride throws it you should be in the clear.
That is until the next time you’re asked to be another best man.
[ "Dearly Beloved We Are Gathered Here Today" is an excerpt from an work of fiction by Karen Weilert ]
